Para mudar o mundo é preciso mudar a forma de nascer. Para mudar a forma de nascer, é preciso antes educar os futuros pais. O Educador Prenatal é que vai ajudar a trazer ao mundo a informação para um futuro de paz no planeta, ajudando e orientando os futuros pais para que, mais seguros de si, possam conceber, gestar, parir, nutrir e cuidar do ser humano o futuro, aquele que é capaz da FRATERNIDADE!

Em vista das férias, resolvemos prorrogar o desconto de 21/01 até o dia 26/01. O tema é mágico e as palestrantes inspiradíssimas! Teremos também a presença da Susanne Rotermund para dar uma vivência de embriologia em argila. O espaço do CEUAUM é uma delícia e de fácil acesso para várias direções de São Paulo. Imperdível!

To be flexible

To set limits (borders) and

To observe the same routine everyday

To become flexible is the result of objective inward observation. You may train your flexibility through an inner work where you learn about yourself. In relation to limits, you have to find out them for yourself. You have to decide what the limits are for your child in your house: time to go to bed, time to eat, what to eat, what language to use in the family and so on. You have to make up your mind about limits beforehand, so, instead of saying “no, no, no…” and becoming angry, you simply do not allow the children to go beyond the limits. You know this is your decision and do not need to be angry. If you are ahead of the child and you see a certain situation coming, with humor and the right gesture or word, you can move away from the situation, and this will be possible if you train your flexibility. Knowing more about yourself will give you the possibility to also be ahead of yourself. When you catch this tool you can start working with your children in a much freer way, because the limits are set.

The third recommendation, to make a routine which is the same every day, gives the child rhythm. All Waldorf families probably know how the daily life is in the kindergarten. The children go through the day in alternate periods of concentration and expansion, as if in a breathing rhythm where there is inhaling and exhaling.

In the inhaling or breathing-in phase the child directs his attention to an activity that basically relates him to himself. For little children each breathing-in period (drawing, water painting, and knitting, eating…) is very short because little children can only concentrate for short periods of time. In the exhaling or breathing-out period, the child relates mainly to the surrounding world (free play, free running etc.). For each breathing-in period the child needs a breathing-out period and so a pattern is established. This rhythm is something that you can bring into your home. You have to try to find out when the children breathes-in and when they breathe-out. And when the children are in the breathing-in period, you have to make sure you are present, so the child feels ah, here I feel my parents, they are there for me. After that, for very short time, you can do what you have to do at home and you can tell your child you have to wait because I need to do this. And this will be all right because you know you have been present with the child. As an example, look at the situation when parents pick up their children from the kindergarten. At the very moment you are picking up your child: Does the cell phone ring and you answer? Do you greet your friends and engage in intense talk? If yes, then you are not present for the child. In my last visit to Mexico I saw very few parents really greeting their children, the majority were talking to other parents or engaged in school affairs or talking in their cell phones, or arriving late or in a hurry.

But, for your child who has been gone for five hours and who really wants you… you are not there. So the child screams I want an ice cream! I want this or that! or he starts running around, or falling, or getting into little conflict because he is confused, because he has not really met you. On the contrary, if you take the time (and it is five seconds perhaps), you bend down, give him a hug and then smell him (so lovely!) and really you are there, his eyes will tell you more than words, how his day was. He cannot tell you with words because he cannot remember, but his eyes will tell you everything. And then you take his hand and walk together (of course in a tempo that the child can follow), and this is really lovely because you are making a new nice situation, a “you and I situation.” Now, if you need to greet people you can do it, very shortly, but together with the child because your child will feel I am where I belong, with my parent. This was a breathing-in situation where you were present.

Then you go to the car and go home (breathing-out) and it is probably time for eating which brings again a breathing-in situation. How do you eat? Do you sit down together with the child? Or is the child sitting by himself and you are walking around talking on the telephone? If you give yourself the time and sit down with your child you will teach the child manners at the table by your example. Many of the children today do not sit with their parents and they do not learn to hold utensils appropriately. However, this is important, otherwise when they are seven years old they cannot hold a pencil and to learn it at that age is so difficult compared to when they were one or two years old.

In addition, to sit at the table and to have a beginning, a process and an end, is important because this is how you should live the whole of life. Everything has a beginning, a process and an end. It may take you only fifteen minutes to sit appropriately, to check how the child holds and drinks from cup (children from one year onwards do not need a sip cup), to eat with closed mouth, and everything you are given and so on, being, in this way, an example for your child to follow, but more importantly you have taken this short moment to make again a “you and I situation” and at the same time you also help the child to find a social form of how we are when we eat together. When you finish with the meal you remind the children they need to help with the table so that they also learn that when they are a part of a social environment they also take part in the cleaning up. In this way you have made and create a situation where you have been present and now you can say to the child go and play (breathing-out) because you have been there, and then you can do what you need to do but you have to be visible to your child. This is so, because a little child cannot play by himself if the center is not there and you are the most important person for the child. You are his center, and if you leave the room the little child will follow you.

When you are doing your things, the situation may occur where children will say I am bored. In this case you, of course, don´t turn on the television or music. When you are occupied with other things, you can tell your child now you play by yourself. If you know you have been present you can actually expect them to find something to do themselves. It is very important that you are not afraid of your children not knowing what to do or being bored. It is very important that you feel it is right: I have been there with them now they can be by themselves.

Nowadays, parents often use media or adult-directed activities for their children because they are afraid of their children being bored and assume that they are not able to do anything themselves. This is a tricky situation. If you think you have to entertain your under-seven children all the time, with media (films, TV, videogames, computers and so on), after-school classes, and/or other adult-directed activities, then they do not learn how to play by themselves. They will not have a moment where they can be in a state of not knowing what to do and from there progress into a state of finding images inwardly and thus creating things from inside out. By letting them to be bored you help them, because being bored represents the opportunity the children will have to go into this process of inner creativity. The fact that children are able to be by themselves, to create their own play without adult direction is of great importance because during the first seven years of the child everything is about being able to create.

If all the activities come from outside (electronic screen, video-games, adult direction, etc.), then not much happens in the sphere of inward creation. That is why in Waldorf kindergartens, teachers do not sit down and play with the children but do real work, from which the children draw inspiration to use it in their own play. In these kindergartens you may find teachers sweeping, cooking, sawing, tending the vegetable patch, taking care of farm animals, cutting wood, and whatever the particular setting of each school allows to do. Equally, you, as a parent, in the breathing-out phase, may do your work and the children beside you should be able to do their work (i.e. their own play). This is possible only when the children feel that they have met you in a previous breathing-in phase.

It is the same when children go to bed in the evening. What the child loves to hear are stories from your life. No book, no radio, no music, no film nor cartoon can make the same impact on the child as you. And to find your own story to tell means so much and it is, in addition, a tool with which you can change very stuck situations. It is so difficult for children to let go of you if they have not felt you present. But, if you have hold your child, blown a little in the ear, told her a little story from the heart, so you have really been there, then you can kiss her and put her to bed and feel I can leave because I have been there. And then you can expect that your child is able to sleep by herself, which is healthy for your child.

In Denmark, where I come from, many parents are in a situation where they have to lie down and hold hands with the child, read 20 stories, sing 50 songs, and all this takes one, one and a half, two hours and when finally they go out quietly of the bedroom they hear ‘Mum, water, Mum!’ and then become annoyed. You can avoid this by setting limits and finding a comfortable way to leave because you have been present in different situations during the day. Otherwise the child has not been filled enough with your love and, if in addition, he has not been given opportunities to do his own play, to work from inside out, you cannot expect he will be able to sleep by himself.

There is an additional aspect I would like to draw attention to for the after-kindergarten time you have with your children. If you take your children from class to class or entrust them to the media in its different varieties you have less time with them. Children are small for very short time. At present, you may be thinking it is a long time to go but, in no time you will see it went so fast. By letting your child to engage in his own play while you are around doing your own chores, and being really present in those breathing-in situations, you build trust between your child and you. And this trust will be important when they get a little older and get into pre-puberty and puberty because with this, they will come to you when they have problems and listen to you when you tell them what and what not to do. But they will only do it if they trust you, if you have been there for them. And that is why the first seven years of children are so important, because their whole trust, their believing that the world is good, is the basis of their future lives.

After that first seven years, it is their friends who become the focus. Their choice of friends has a lot to do with the morality you have shown them and built up through the first seven years. In addition, if children were given the opportunity to work inwardly, they will know themselves and then they will be able to say “no” when they meet something they do not like and “yes” to what they want. You can make a choice if you know yourself and a human being who can make a choice has healthy self-esteem.

In this context it is important how the kindergarten and the home relate to each other: there must be a bridge from one world to the other. In a way, it is a little hard for families who choose a Waldorf education for your children as you become different from the mainstream, but this is your choice. You cannot do both. Once you have taken the road of consciousness, you are concerned about the food, their upbringing, everything. To make the bridge from having the children in the Waldorf kindergarten and at your home is, of course, important so the child can see that everything fits. That is why it is incredibly important to build up trust between the kindergarten and the family, through which the kindergarten teacher is able to support the family´s choice but also for the family to respect what is brought in the kindergarten so one thing without the other is nothing. So you need to find a way together. I have three children who are 29, 26, and 23 and now I can harvest the 25 years of hard dedicated work with my children, and it is so fantastic because I can see how they can go out in life with freedom and also I can move around in the world with freedom and wisdom, because they don´t need me anymore but they like me and they like to be with me and also their friends. And this is, I think, the highest thing we wish as parents, that when our children are adults, they actually, by their own free choice, choose to be with us at certain moments. We can find with our children a new way of building social relationships because we have another consciousness by which we can meet our children better.

Rede de Apoio a Maternidade Ativa do Rio Grande do Norte – RAMA

Além da possibilidade de fazer  inscrições on-line e de encontrar detalhes e informações sobre os eventos, no site o público também terá acesso a conteúdos atualizados sobre o tema.

A ANEP Brasil apoia e recomenda!

O excelente documentário The Business of Being Born gerou um fruto, uma continuação, que será lançada agora em novembro: More Business of Being Born.

Fizemos uma tradução livre da matéria escrita por uma das produtoras do filme sobre o cenário do nascimento no Rio de Janeiro, pois achamos interessante compartilhar. Infelizmente, nossas escandalosas taxas de cesáreas já chamam atenção no exterior. Vejam abaixo.

=====================

Por Paula Magalhães Fritsch

Report from Rio

January 21st, 2009 Posted by Abby Epstein in C-Sections, Hospital Birth ⋅

Por todas as aparências externas, o Rio de Janeiro (e o Brasil em geral) é surpreendentemente “bebê-amigável”. No aeroporto, há uma fila especial para famílias com crianças e para mulheres grávidas, há assentos pequenos de bebê acoplados aos carrinhos de bagagem quando você pega suas malas e em vôos domésticos há um banheiro reservado apenas para mulheres que é muito limpo e grande. ( Você pode imaginar tal civilização em aeroportos nos EUA?).  Na praia tem áreas especiais para bebes e crianças com estações para troca de fralda. As mulheres grávidas andam orgulhosas pela praia com seus pequenos biquínis e as novas mães amamentam por toda parte em público. A cultura inteira é muito baby-crazy e todos te param na rua para te ajudar com seu carrinho de bebe e para te oferecer algum conselho não solicitado. Mas o que é  surpreendentemente “baby-unfriendly” sobre Rio é que um recente relatório médico mostra que a classe média do Rio tem uma taxa de cesárea  de 93%!!!

Há três anos atrás, durante a filmagem do BOBB (The Business of Being Born), nós filmamos um pouco no Rio. Por causa desta estatística pensamos que seria interessante mostrar.  Foi também prático filmar no Rio já que meu sócio (e nosso Dir. de fotografia) Paulo é brasileiro e nós viajamos para lá regularmente. Após um “test screening” do  BOBB um mês antes do Tribeca Film Festival nós decidimos tirar a curta parte sobre o nascimento no Brasil porque sentimos que estava fora do lugar dentro do “scope” do filme. Mas para nosso futuro DVD, pensamos que fazia  sentido completar a filmagem no Rio e incluir SP também. Então eu trouxe minha câmera para nossas férias e revisitei o cenário de nascimento no Rio.

Nesta viagem eu fiquei ainda mais chocada quando conversei com obstetras e mulheres locais sobre o fenômeno da cesárea. Essencialmente, o que um doutor me explicou e’ que existem “dois Brasils”. Ele colocou que, para a população pobre e aqueles tendo filho em hospitais públicos, ao todo, apenas 30% de cesáreas são feitas, percentual este igual a maioria dos países industrializados. (Entretanto eu li que era perto de 40% e outro medico que entrevistei no Rio me disse que os hospitais públicos do Rio de Janeiro tinham uma taxa de cesárea perto de 50%).  O “outro Brasil” são as classes media e alta, que na grande maioria tem seus filhos em hospitais privados. Um obstetra/ginecologista que conversamos estima que a taxa de cesárea para a classe media e’ de 65%-85%, mas outro medico riu e nos falou que estudos recentes confirmam que a taxa de cesárea entre a classe media/alta e de 93%.

Não e difícil ver como a cesárea se tornou grande parte da cultura da classe media no Brasil. Primeiramente, muitas destas mulheres tiveram mães que vieram de uma classe mais baixa e tiveram vários filhos sem acesso a anestesia. Então, existe esse grande medo da dor do parto e uma tradição oral passada por geração de como e’ torturante. A maioria destas mães preferem que suas filhas tenham filho via cesárea para evitar o sofrimento que elas experimentaram. Na verdade, muitas mulheres que conversamos no Rio sentiam que nem a opção de epidural era garantia suficiente contra a dor, mas que a cesárea garantia o nascimento do filho antes mesmo de sentirem qualquer dor do trabalho de parto. Inicialmente os médicos eram acusados pelo aumento  das taxas de cesárea já que ela beneficia-os financeiramente, já que a maioria de suas pacientes tem cesárea marcada. Desta forma, eles poderiam fazer vários partos e ao mesmo tempo continuar atendendo em seus consultórios e evitar o péssimo congestionamento de carros do Rio e as longas horas que envolve o trabalho de parto espontâneo.

Uma das maiores diferenças no Rio e’ que o obstetra/ginecologista privado trabalha sozinho e seus pacientes demandam este cuidado exclusivo. Seria impensável ter seu pré-natal com um obstetra/ginecologista e ter um estranho cuidando do seu parto. Então um obstetra não pode tirar ferias e eles não podem perder nenhum parto já que eles não tem nenhum sócio ou um grupo de physicians dando suporte como e’ comum nos EUA.  A situação e a mesma para o pediatra que tem que estar presente no nascimento do bebe da sua cliente. Então você pode imaginar as chances de uma mulher entrar em trabalho de parto espontâneo e esperar que seu obstetra/ginecologista e pediatra estejam a disposição para estar com ela no parto.

Mas, os médicos não são mais os únicos apontados como os responsáveis por esta alta taxa de cesárea no Rio, hoje em dia parece que a preferência das mulheres tem contribuído muito com este fator. Como um medico nos contou, “Agora se tornou cultural”. A maioria das mulheres que conversamos disseram não acreditar que estavam em risco durante um parto cirúrgico e que achavam a cesárea mais segura to que o parto vaginal. Já que poucas famílias na classe media pretende ter mais do que 2 crianças, não existe o medo do risco de múltiplas cesárea. Um obstetra/ginecologista mais velho que entrevistamos, que esta no mercado há 30 anos acha a situação muito triste mas sente que suas pacientes o colocam no canto quando se fala em parto vaginal. Primeiro, ele fala que elas insistem em “ficarem exatamente iguais do que antes do parto” e ficam aterrorizadas em perder qualquer elasticidade na vagina ou prazer. Segundo,  elas se recusam a permitir que ele use forceps se necessário. (Estranho, elas não vêem problemas com a episiotomia, mas não querem o bebe danificado pelo fórceps). Ultimo, mesmo se escolherem por um parto vaginal com epidural (ele tem uma taxa de 100% de epidural) elas não toleram um trabalho de parto que dure mais do que 10 horas quando vão pedir uma cesárea. O obstetra sente que com este critério não realístico, e’ difícil para ele garantir as suas pacientes um parto vaginal rápido e sem dor e sem intervenções como o fórceps.

Quando eu perguntei sobre os riscos de uma taxa de cesárea de 93%, como mostrado em um artigo recente na revista USA Today que reportou que 37% das cesárea eletivas são feitas muito cedo, ele respondeu que todas suas pacientes fazem 4-5 ultras então e virtualmente impossível para ele errar uma due date. Mas um pediatra que conversamos não concordava: Ele disse que esta sempre nervoso quando tem que estar presente em uma cesárea marcada e que o desenvolvimento dos bebes no útero e’ bem diferente um do outro. Ele não estava convencido que uma ultra poderia indicar que um bebe estava pronto e que se sentia mais a vontade quando estava em uma cesárea que a mãe já tivesse entrado em trabalho de parto.

Nos falamos com uma mulher corajosa no Rio, que teve dois bebes de parto vaginal. A segunda criança pesava 4kg então ela foi considerada praticamente irresponsável por seus colegas. (Ela fez cinco ultras durante seu pre-natal).  Christina adorou seus partos simplesmente porque sua recuperação foi bem rápida.  Ela sabe que não consegue convencer suas amigas e sua família a seguirem seu exemplo então ela nem tenta. Christina disse que dos seus 15 primos ela foi a única que”podia” ter parto vaginal. Eu perguntei por que ass outras não puderam e ela citaram razoes como  “ um bebe estava com o cordão em volta do pescoço e outro não estava na posição certa, etc…” Aparentemente, das 93% das cesárea marcadas, apenas 10-15% são indicação do medico. Um ponto negativo que Christina mencionou sobre seu parto foi que ela entrou em trabalho de parto na noite de ano novo, então, apesar de seu obstetra/ginecologista estar presente no seu parto, seu pediatra não estava devido as férias. Isso, ela falou, e’ um dos “riscos” do parto vaginal.

Palestrante convidada:

Ana Paula Cury tem conduzido cursos e palestras nas escolas Waldorf de São Paulo e de outros estados, trazendo o tema da Sexualidade, tão complexo como importante, à luz da Antroposofia, com textos, vídeos, e compartilhamento. Será abordada a questão da sexualidade nas várias etapas da vida: infância (1ª e 2ª infância), ritos de passagem e sexualidade adulta.

Programa: